So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
