I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
