everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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