You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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