You just made me feel so damn special
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It's blow job season.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
