I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I need a beard to bite.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
