and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
