I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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