Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize