Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
