Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
