I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
