My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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