"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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