ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
