My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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