This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
