Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize