I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
