she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
