your thong is hanging out like whoa
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize