please come you make the beer taste better
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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