i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
