I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
