Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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