if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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