Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Randomize