youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
