I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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