There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
