You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
