Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
