Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
