It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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