Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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