She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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