That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
