It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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