i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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