It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
where does the pee come out of this thing
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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