I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
