Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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