last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
