Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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