North Korea, Best Korea!
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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