your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
