Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
