that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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