I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
