i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Sober January is a disaster.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize