dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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