Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Found the puke drawer
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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