Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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