You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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