I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
