If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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