Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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