Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i came on her dog
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
