I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
