He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
