this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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