You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
