Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
