so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize