I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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