bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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