my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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