We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
