I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
50% drunk capacity currently
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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