school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
